"My First Mother's Day - My Journey to Motherhood"
When asked to speak today I wasn't sure what to say other than to tell my journey to motherhood and why this Mother's Day is special to me. My journey has taught me a lot, especially about the power of prayer and God's plan.
It all began 10 years ago when my dreams as a little girl to grow up, get married and have children were shattered. I thought my life was over before it had started. It seemed that at the same time as we were told that we could not have children, everyone around us was having children. I would cry after attending a baby shower and Mother's Day became the most dreaded day of the year. I was so envious and felt left out. I was told to pray and that God would answer my prayers.
So I began praying and asking for a child. He heard my prayers and over the years blessed me with 2 nephews and 2 nieces; so I had the honor of being an aunt. I am thankful for my family for letting me share in their children's lives. Still I had an ache deep in my heart for a child of my own, so I still prayed that God would give me a child, one that was mine.
We tried a couple of times to go through the state agency to adopt, but each time there seemed to be some obstacle that prevented us from completing the process. I did not realize until later that these obstacles were God's way of telling us this was not his plan. Time went on and I continued to pray trusting that God would once again answer my prayers and last April 2001, he blessed me with two children, Savanah and Gage. Still they were not my own, and it was only to be temporary, but they were living in my home.
It was hard to tend to them each day and love them without falling in love with them, especially Gage. Savanah was older and although she loved me and called me momma, she also loved and knew her mother and longed to be with her. Gage on the other hand was only 4 months and knew only me. As the days went by, the thought of having to give him back to his mother became harder to accept. I tried to tell myself that God had brought him to me and should the time come to give him up, God would have something else for me. He would give me peace, which he did.
Last August, I was given the greatest gift of all, Gage! One mother had made the ultimate decision. She gave me the chance to be a mother. I know this mother personally and I know at the time of her decision God was with her. She knew it was the best thing for all involved. God had blessed me once again. He had given me two children to love, and finally, one of my own. So this Mother's Day, not only do I want to thank God, I also want to thank those mothers who chose not only to give life to a child, but chose to let that child live life with mothers like me. During my journey God answered my prayers each time blessing me, first as a woman, then as an aunt, and saving, in my opinion, the best for last--a mother. The only thing better than being honored here today as a mother is when Gage looks at me and calls me "momma" because it is then that I know it is real.
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